Homesick

Today I am going to skip the challenge and just do some blogging. I have been feeling homesick for San Diego a lot lately. I do not say anything anymore to Dennis cuz I know he feels a bit bad about taking me so far away from my family. So I just talk to God about it. I have lived in many places my whole life and 16 years were spent in Arizona before I married Dennis. I was in San Diego less than two years but I have never felt so at home as I did there. I just felt like I belonged and I truly believed God would provide for us to stay. That didn't happen and I trust God knows why He brought us here but still doesn't mean I am not homesick for San Diego plus I was close to AZ and family there.



What do I miss about San Diego. Well being near the ocean is a big part of it, I always felt so at at peace at the beach. The sound of the waves and the sand between my toes. I miss the friends I was just beginning to make. I was just starting to get into a church there that was awesome. I miss being close to my mom in Yuma and family in Phoenix. I miss my daughters so very much. But for the most part I can't really explain why I am so homesick that it is an ache in my heart. I felt at home there from the very beginning. That was the first time in my life I felt at home anywhere I lived. I never felt that way about Phoenix even though I lived there 16 years and still own my home there.




Don't get me wrong, it is gorgeous here and I am amazed by such beauty. In the mornings when I walk the dogs before I go to work the sun is barely coming up over the hills and the past couple of mornings the sky has been cloudy so the orange, blue and gray and white clouds fill the sky. Trees are beginning to change and I have to wear a sweater or jacket in the mornings and evenings I do thank God for bringing to such a place as this but it does not feel like home. Maybe in time it will, I am hoping so but I am not sure about the small town attitude I have run into. It is stifling, I was hoping I would like it but so far not so much. Another thing about Idaho is Dennis's daughter lives here and they are starting to reconnect so that is a very good thing.
















I long to be as homesick for heaven as I am for San Diego. To have an ache in my heart to go to my real home with God. To be in the presence of His perfect love. To fell at peace and so joyous. I want to long for that more than I do for San Diego. This place is not my real home and someday I will be in heaven. So I pray for wisdom as I go through being so homesick for San Diego.