One unforgettable moment

My dad died in May 2010, he had been in the hospital since just after the middle of April. He had gone in for something minor but had 2 strokes while in there. At first we all rushed to his bedside because doctors thought that was it. But then it appeared he might recover however he began to decline once again. Finally Memorial Weekend was upon us. It was Saturday May 29, 2010 and his kidneys were failing and we decided to put him on hospice. That evening 8 of his 11 children, including me, gathered around him with some of our spouses and grandchildren. We all said our goodbyes individually then he was taken off the machines. With us kids gathered around his bed and other family around us, we were swapping memories then we began singing "The Lord is My Shepard" and just as we were finishing up the song he passed away peacefully. It was such a surreal and moving moment in my life, one I will never forget. I was so honored and blessed to be able to be there with him when he died.

August 2010

It is day 20 of this challenge and it is this month, which is still August. It was a very emotionally draining month on top of it already being a spring/summer like that. It started out with myself and 5 other sisters and my mom in New Orleans with our sister Pat as she buried her husband Gary. They were married 37 years and had a wonderful marriage. He was just a really good, decent guy. The picture is from a family reunion we had in 2007. It is Pat, Gary and their son Colin




In that trip though my sisters, mom and I went to the French Quarter a couple of times and that was so much fun. My mom got to enjoy time with 6 of her grown daughters that she would never had a chance to do if Gary had not died. He was chuckling from heaven knowing the great time we were having and how wonderful it was for mom to have this experience.







































I then spent a week in Phoenix. Stayed with my sister Eileen then my brother Greg and my last four nights with Melissa. Her and I had great fun. She took those days off of work and we stayed up most nights all night long, went to a movie, went to a birthday party on Saturday and had a great time there. I saw my best friends Angela and Ann while in AZ. I was so happy to see them. It was hard leaving but I was ready to come home.











However it was also just a down month for me. In June we moved to Idaho from San Diego. So I left a job I liked, a place I loved living, farther away from my family especially my daughters, my dad died over Memorial Weekend, trying to find a job, and Gary dying end of July. I sank into depression but the praise is this time I did not go way down like I have in the past. I got out of bed in the mornings, took my dogs for long walks, worked out, did my school work, blogged, worked somewhat on my writings. And here is another praise I am out that depressed state. So my August is ending with me in a better frame of mind and looking forward to what is ahead. Knowing God has brought me to this place and He will provide a job and friendships. I have joined a Community Bible Study to start in Sept and with that I will be in a small core group so that is exciting. I still miss being near family and miss living in San Diego. I especially miss my daughters so very much. However I know that God has brought me to this place so I am looking ahead and looking up.

Regrets??

Up to day 19 of this challenge and is something I regret.

I don't have any major regrets. Sure there are things I might have done differently had I known what I do now or relationships I might have skipped seeing how they ended but I also know those things shaped me and brought me to where I am now. I have done many years of counseling to let go of past guilt and shame to be in a healthier spot that I am. Life is to short to live with regrets because there are times regrets can weigh one down to not move forward in the now.

I know the crippling effects of shame and guilt and shame. How it keeps a person twisted up in knots and constantly going back to what they regret or feel guilt or shame about. There is so much a person can offer with their experiences of the past even those ones that are shameful or horrible. Those horrible or shameful things people leave buried inside because they fear others finding out. When one does that then whatever they are trying to keep buried has power and control over them.

I am a advocate for counseling to deal with those things in the past that have a hold of a person, that keeps them bound up in guilt, shame and fear. That keeps one looking back at different aspects of their lives and being weighed down with regret. It is painful to work through those things but there is such freedom on the other side. So if a person is weighed down with things of the past, find a good counselor, a person has to trust their counselor so don't stop looking till you find that one you click with. Then do the painful work of facing those things and working through them to find such freedom on the other side. However once you start in this process don't stop in the midst of it. You will be left with all of it hanging out there, the pain, the memories etc, with no guidance or direction or tools to finish working through it and getting past it. Once you are done, you will feel like a new person free to be who you really are.

My favorite birthday

Day 18 of this challenge and I get to tell about my favorite birthday. It was my 50th birthday. It was May 5, 2008 and I still lived in Phoenix. My kids and I had a big party at my house Saturday May 3. Mexican food, margaritas, yummy chocolate cake from Costco, swimming and lots of family and friends. My fiance, who is now my husband, Dennis was able to make it from San Diego. It was also the last party I would have in my house before I moved in Sept 2008 when I got married. It was just so much fun and a fantastic party and celebration of turning 50. I was also on vacation because Dennis and I were flying to Ft Wayne Indiana the Wednesday after my birthday so I could meet his mom. Sunday morning, the day after the party, I drove to San Diego with Dennis to spend the night. He was going on leave Monday morning but had the night shift Sunday. But this way we were actually able to spend most of my actual birthday together. On our way back to Phoenix we stopped in Yuma to see my mom and we brought take out from Olive Garden so I got to spend my actual birthday with my mom, which made it that much more special.

My favorite memory

This is day 17 of this challenge and today is my favorite memory. Well I do not have just one, I am 52 years old and have many wonderful memories and many bad memories. But I want focus on a few good memories. The birth of my three children are three of my all time favorite memories.

Sarah is my oldest and was born on Easter Sunday. My water had broken the night before but I was in labor for almost 24 hours before she made her appearance. She was beautiful and even though the doctor used forceps to pull her out there were no marks on her from it. She weighed 10 lbs, 12 oz and my doctor said if he knew she was that big then he would have done a C-section so I was thankful he did not know.

Melissa was born in November almost a month before Christmas. I had an appointment in the morning and my doctor did a physical exam and said go home and walk for awhile and come back in the afternoon. It worked and my labor was only about 7 hours with her and after the doctor delivered her and she was holding her, Melissa peed all over the doctor. I say she christened her birth. She was 9 ilbs 12 oz.

Timothy was born in May and I was in labor all day long but they would not believe that I was in hard labor when I was. I had back labor with all three births and contractions could not be measured correctly with an external monitor. So around midnight I was sent home even though I begged them to not send me home. So an hour and a half later my water broke and was ready to push. We were on an Air Force bast about 2 min from the hosp so the ambulance got there in time to deliver him at home. Timothy weighed 9 lbs, 5 oz.

There are so many other memories I could write about, be it the birth of my grandson or when he died. When I met my husband, our wedding day. Walking down the aisle seeing him waiting for me. Memories, good and bad are those things that can be triggered by a smell or sound. A song or a person. There are times I can go back and be in the emotion of the memory, good or bad. A bad memory can at times just be that but then there are times I am in it and feeling the fear of what I am experiencing at that time. I am thankful for all my memories, they have helped shape who I am. Given me my sense of humor, my compassion, and other parts of me, good and bad.

I Wish I Could Take This Back

Sun Rise

There are things I have done or said over my lifetime that knowing what I know now I would have handled differently. Or if I had been in a different frame of mind I would have reacted differently. The times I got on my kids for really trivial stuff or overreacting when someone said something. But all that happened in the past is just that: the past. I don't want to spend my time on what if's. I have done that too much before and with that carried a lot of unnecessary guilt around which of course then contributes to saying or doing other hurtful things. I know I am not who I was when I did or said those past hurtful things but I know there will be times I will say or do something that will hurt or offend someone. And there will be times others will hurt or offend me. That is a part of living in this imperfect world. I just know I have now, this moment and never know if I will have another moment till it comes. In my younger days I spent either too much time focused on the stuff from the past or worrying about the future that I missed out on a lot of moments. I am trying to live my life in the moment of the present, each new day is a gift. Life goes by too quickly to keep looking back with regrets.

First Kiss

Day 16 is First Kiss and there are many first kisses in my life. The one at about 9 years old or with my first serious boyfriend in high school. Or the when I started seeing my first husband. How about that first kiss after the birth of each child. Or how about the first kiss from each of my children or my grandson. So many to choose from but I will focus on two first kisses from my second and current husband.

I had met him online and he lived in San Diego and I lived in Phoenix. We chatted online and the over the phone for a couple of weeks before he drove to Phoenix to meet me in person. We would talk for hours on the phone and were very open with each other. But we were both nervous about meeting each other in person. It was a nerve wracking evening waiting for him to get to Phoenix. When he arrived and that first kiss when we first met each other was fireworks. It was gentle and soft yet full of just the right amount of awkwardness but sparks were flying for sure.

Then there is the first kiss after my dad, who performed our ceremony, pronounced us man and wife. That first kiss of many as a couple committed together for the rest of our lives. The first kiss of this is it, we are on this path together. A kiss full of hope and promise of the years to come.

There are many first kisses in my life, that mark different times and aspects of my life.

My dreams

It is day 15 of this challenge and today just says "your dreams." I am choosing to write about dreams I have when I am asleep. Not specifically but as a group whole. I know I dream every night but I very rarely remember much detail. My mind never quiets down, it is always working. I have dreams that are silly and ones that leave me unsettled throughout the day. I can have a dream so active that I wake up exhausted the next morning. A dream can be a rehash of something that happened during the day but with a weird twist. I used to have such horrific nightmares but the only part I ever remembered is screaming and screaming in my head and trying to wake up and when I did it was perfectly quiet throughout the house. I actually have not had one of those since I remarried almost 2 years ago. I do have a couple of dreams that were in third person that I am currently writing a story around. One of them was very Stephen Kingish and even now I can vividly remember that dream even though it was over 2 years ago. The other one I am not sure the slant it will take but I remember it and have the basic plot of the dream down just need to build more around it.

One non sleep dream of mine is to one day do something with my writing besides just for myself but that is one that if does not happen I am okay with that. Right now I can write just for me, getting my thoughts and ideas out of my head. It is a good outlet for me to just express myself.

So this is the end of this day 15 post. I can't believe I am halfway through this challenge.

Again with what I wore

HMM day 14 is like day 10 in that I am to tell what I wore today. So far today I am wearing my workout clothes. I got up a little later today, put on my work out clothes, walked the dogs then went to the gym then came home. When I got home I decided to get dinner in the crock pot and get this blogging done before showering and getting dressed in regular clothes. So there ya have it, what I wore today. YAWN!!

This week???

Well day 13 of this challenge and all it says is this week. Do I project what I think this week will be like or what I have planned. Do I go over last week and comment that I hope this week is better. Last week was a hard week, just the blues settling in and I am hoping I don't go far down as I have in the past. I should say these about 5-6 past months have been an emotional roller coaster that I am ready to get off for awhile but if last week ending the way it did is any indication then nope still on the roller coaster of emotional mess. And if Sunday is considered the first day of the week then that also proves this week will be so much fun. I ended Saturday getting sick to my stomach and falling asleep with a headache and just not feeling well. I awoke Sunday with the same headache and still feeling sick. I spent the day in my pj;s on the couch with pillows and a blanket. I ate some but then I would feel nauseous again so I would not eat much. Today, Monday, I awoke not feeling too great and wanted to stay in bed but I could not go back to sleep so I got up, walked my dogs, did my Bible study and prayers and started cleaning house. I plan to go the gym in about an hour. I have not eaten cuz the thought of food makes my stomach flip flop. So the rest of my week will be the same except for the being sick thing, I hope. And I will add looking for a job and to make it more fun I read an article that predicts the city I live in to be on of 22 cities that could experience double digit recession. Oh joy of all joys!! Anyway so that looks to be my week and I am so thrilled for it to happen.

What's in my bag

It is day 12 of the writing challenge so I am just a few days away from the halfway point. Today just wants to know what's in my bag. Woo Hoo how exciting is that. NOT! My wallet of course is in there, I bought it on sale at Bebe last summer when I was out shopping with my girls. I also have a pocket calendar and chapstick of some kind. There is also a pen, pencil and hand lotion. Our camera might be in there and if I am out and about, my phone, keys and sunglasses go along for the ride, though I usually am wearing the sunglasses. There are also usually bits and pieces of trash like old receipts or gum wrappers. Speaking of that there is usually gum and mints in there. Sometimes when Dennis and I are going out I will carry his wallet and phone for him. If I am traveling I will have my prescriptions and MP3 player in there travel information. So there are things that are in there on a regular basis but depending on what we are doing or where we are going those contents can be different. So there you have it, what is in my bag. Your day is now complete isn't it.

My sibs

Day 11 is about my siblings. I have 10 brothers and sisters. 7 sisters and 3 brothers. I am number 5 in that line up. It is 3 girls, a boy, me, twin girls, 2 boys then 2 girls. Us 8 girls are closer to each other then my 3 brothers are. Growing up there was always someone to play with, never a shortage there. Vacations were camping and traveling. We played kick the can, told spooky stories, hiked, put on plays and shows. Doing dishes by hand was a major task with so many kids. Hand me downs were the norm to wear, well not my older brother LOL. I actually loved my older sisters clothes, they were hip and cool. Most of my siblings live in AZ with the rest of us scattered across the country. I recently moved farther away then just a few hour drive and it is hard to not be so close. But even those of us sisters that have moved away have stayed close to one another. We know we can count on one another to be there for us. As we get older, we realize more and more the value of each other which just draws us closer. I am grateful to come from such a large family and would not trade any of them for anything, yes even my gnarly brothers.

200 Words, Real Fast

White Event Tents, Grey Skies

The day started dark and ominous. The clouds filled the sky so tightly that the sun had no way to nudge through.



"Where is the sun?" sighed the woman.



But the day reflected her frame of mind. To many things have piled up over the past six months and she was not sure if she could handle anymore. She was striving to keep herself from falling to far under but she has not been very successful.



"Why?" thought the woman but had no energy to think anymore.



Her mind was so numb with thoughts so jumbled and incoherent. She laid in bed trying to decide whether it was worth getting up. Maybe if she stayed here with her head under the covers she could just disappear.



The woman threw back the covers and swinging her legs over the side as she sat up.



"I should" she said but unable to finish because of the jumble in her mind.



She slowly lowered her feet to the floor and stood up. She felt like she was 200 years old. The pressure of months and months of things piling up on one another weighed her down so she moved very slowly.



As she walked into the bathroom she wondered "is this it?'

Trivial post

Okay this is day 10 and I am supposed to tell you what I wore today. It is in the afternoon but I am set for the day because we have no grand plans for later. So here is the exciting post of what I wore or am wearing.

When I got up of course I had my PJ's on. Pink tank top with pink long bottoms that have Winnie The Pooh all over them. Then I got ready to go to the gym so I had on a t-shirt, work out pants and shoes. Came home and took a shower and put on a red knit sundress. I have had it for over 2 years and I love it. I have a brown one like it. I got them at Wal Mart but they have not carried them since. They are getting worn cuz I wear them all the time but I have not found any good replacements. However I did find a cute skirt at DownEast. I had a won a $25 gift card and used it for the skirt. It is pink and white print, wide elastic waistband with two low pockets on the front. Very cute, can pair it up with a white scoop neck shirt or tank top and a pair of flips. So that is a little more than what I wore today.

What do I beleive

HMM this is day 9 and I am to tell my beliefs. First of I believe I am female, due to specific body parts and I believe the sun will rise in the east and set in the west. I also believe Phoenix AZ will be hot hot hot in the summer. I could go on and on with things like that but those are things I can see to back up what I believe. As for my faith beliefs. I believe in God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. I believe God's son Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, grew up a sinless man and He was tortured and crucified on the cross for all the sins of mankind past, present and future. I believe in Him as my Savior and through this I have eternal life. I believe He will return again someday. I believe I am loved by my Heavenly Father completely and unconditionally.

Rich Mullins "Creed" says it best

Just a moment

Day 8 just says "a moment." I was thinking what moment in my life stands out so clearly even though it was just a moment.




One of the clearest is after Matthew died as I was leaving the hospital pausing in the doorway and turning around, feeling like I was leaving something behind. It was brief but so memorable, sticks so sharply in my mind and in my heart.

My Best Friend

Day 7 of this challenge is to talk about my best friend. How does a person choose just one. I have quite a few close friends but for absolute best friends that I can share anything and everything I have 3.



The first is Ann, she was my maid of honor when I married Dennis almost 2 years ago. I have known her since 1998. We met in a college class and had a couple of more together. We clicked right away. She is a free spirit, very independent and fiercely loyal to her friends. Her and I have had similar traumatic moments and so we understand each other. She is one of the few people who know I am a rebel at heart. After we both finished college, we went to work for the same company. In fact I got the job cuz of her recommendation. We both have a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility. I worked for her part time when she started her own mobile bookkeeping business. We work well together and she is very gifted at accounting/finance stuff. We have had many deep conversations, many that involved alcohol. When the company we both worked for was sold, we sat at her house drinking and just talking about the years we had spent there. She is one person I always see when I make it back to Phoenix (not counting family).




My next best friend is Angela. She is a crazy, wacky fun loving gal. We crack each other up all the time. I met her where I worked in AZ, same place Ann and I worked. We were both in the same dept and talked and hung out but then the last few years before the company was sold she was assigned as my assistant, for lack of a better word. We sat right across from each other and boom the rest is history. We were fairly isolated away from everyone else and we spent a lot of time while working delving into deep subjects. Sharing our pasts and giving advice and helping each other when one of us was just barely hanging on. We also shared comedy and swapped lines back and forth. She is a very wise woman who has great insight and she says the same about me. She is also fiercely loyal and very forgiving. She also loves my zaniness and my ability to switch subjects on a dime. She says I am like Peanut, one of Jeff Dunham's puppets. And she is so right, I am. She knows I will love her no matter what direction her life takes. She says I am one of the few people in her life that does not judge her but loves her for who she truly is.





The last best friend I have known all her life cuz this friend is my daughter Melissa. Her and I are so much alike in every way. We are both responsible and dependable people but also crazy and fun loving. Even as a teenager we did not have a lot of conflict. We have done so much together since she has become an adult. In 2006 we even took a vacation together to San Francisco and we had so much fun. Everyday we were out and about. One of us would suggest something and the other would go okay. Then off we would somewhere in the city. We are still like that. Her and I can stay up all night drinking and talking. When I visit Phoenix I stay with her and it is so relaxing. Last time I was there, Dennis was not with me. I stayed with her 4 nights and we spent a lot of it just hanging out, watching TV, drinking and talking about nothing and everything. We have shared a lot of deep conversations. Her and I have both been through therapy for things in our past so we are at a healthier spot together which is why we can share such deep conversations even when drunk without getting into arguments. We love the same types of movies, shows, music. In fact we will lay in her bed and watch reruns of shows like 90210 over and over together. We love award shows and entertainment magazines and all that Hollywood gossip.

Oh boy my day!!

Okay day 6 of this 30 day thing is about my day. This day was so uneventful. Dennis took it off but nothing special planned. I did not get up till 10 AM but I had taken our 2 dogs out for a early morning potty break. We just puttered around for awhile and were planning to go the gym but he needed to get his retired military ID so we ended up driving to Pocatello to the National Guard Amory. We got Taco Bell on our way out. I tried those Cantina tacos they have now, delicious. On the way home my daughter Melissa and I texted back and forth. Now I have just been goofing on the computer. We might try to go to the gym later after dinner but who knows. I will read the chapters for the next lesson in my class. Wow it really is an uneventful day but then I would rather it be that way on a normal basis then to have high drama on a normal basis. The picture is where I live since that is where the bulk of my day was spent.

David Phelps- That's What Love Is

Day 5 and to get this subject on this day is fitting. Today my grandson Matthew would have been 14 years old. We had him in our lives for a short 16 months. He was a precious, funny and smart little guy. Since he had a short life all he knew was the love of his family and then goes into the unconditional eternal love of our Heavenly Father. Matthew knew no rejection or hurt or fear. All he knew was love. That is what perfection in love is and here on earth we are too daily strive and move towards that perfect love within our hearts and lives. Human love is both selfish and unselfish, both idiotic and serious. Love is fighting and arguing and disagreements. But love is laughing and sharing and caring. Lifting your loved ones up when they are feeling down and hurt. Love is a commitment that takes work and sacrifice. David Phelps has a song called "That's What Love Is" that truly expresses what love means to me.






LYRICS

It's the only thing worth life and death
It's the first moment and the final breath
It's a broken heart keeping a solemn vow
And a lost soul being found
You pray for faith when it's hard to believe
You choose to stay when it's easy to leave
And when hope is gone you're the one who keeps holding on

Chorus
That's what love is
When you give until there's nothing left
And it makes you give the very best
That's what love is
It can make you laugh and make you cry
It can let you down and lift you up so high
When you find the only reason left to live
That's what love is

It's the dream you give up for someone else
It's being strong when you're weak yourself
Though it tears you up you trust again
Hatred loses and forgiveness wins
You turn your cheek when you want to fight
Sell all you have and lay down your life
And when hope is gone you're the one who keeps holding on

Chorus

Its reaching out and holding on so someone else will know
Love is in the not letting go

Chorus

By David Phelps/Tyler Hayes-Bieck/Greg Bieck

What did I eat today!!

So it is now day 4 and I am to tell you what I ate today. I love food and I can eat compulsively but I have been reteaching myself and watching for those triggers that can have me running to food. I am not perfect at it but I am way so much better than I was in the past. So here begins what I ate today.



Well for breakfast I ate something I have not in a very long time. I had one chocolate frosted doughnut and it was yummy. I can not even remember the last time I ate one.



Later I got a Coke Zero while we ran errands. I love classic Coke better but calories, calories.




Later in the day we went down to the Greenbelt area by the Snake River in downtown Idaho Falls for the Duck Races and we ate at a Mexican place.




When then walked around the river and got dutch over berry cobbler with vanilla ice cream at one of the booths set up during the duck race.

It was a day of eating what I usually don't but that is just the way things are sometimes. I don't feel like I overate and that will be it for the day. Hope those reading this had a great food day.

My parents

This is day 3 of this 30 day challenge and I am to talk about my parents. I grew up in a large Catholic family of 11 kids. They have 40 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren. They were married for 36 years before divorcing. My dad was not the best of fathers or husbands but he did the best with what he knew. My mom retreated into herself during those difficult years of marriage. However after the divorce they continued to maintain a friendly relationship and I truly believe that is because my mom is a gracious forgiving woman. She did not want us kids to have to deal with the who do we invite for family gatherings.



My dad Morris Courtright Jr was born in Saginaw MI May 2, 1930 and died in Scottsdale AZ May 30, 2010. 8 of us kids were gathered around him along with spouses and some children singing The Lord Is My Shepard when he died. He wore many hats in his many years of life. Retired Major in the Air Force working space industry on the Gemini, Mercury and Apollo programs. He never really retired and he was an electrical engineer, a salesman, a State Representative, Civil Air Patrol and a Priest. He also spent many decades researching our family ancestors on both his and my mom's side. It is great the history of my family. His mom was a Gould, related to the tycoon Jay Gould. A many times removed cousin married James Monroe. We have had sheriffs and horse thieves in our past. He was a highly intelligent man and led such an amazing life and it was great to talk to him. He is missed by all his family.



My mom Phyllis Joann Jones Courtright was born in Lima OH Aug 6, 1928. She lives in Arizona in a big rambling house. She was a Registered Nurse for 40+ years. She always worked the graveyard shift. She said she loved that shift because it was quieter and less doctors, etc around. She also worked it so she could be home during the day for us kids, sleeping while we were in school. She is a avid reader and does crossword puzzles in pen! She loves action movies like the Die Hard series. She remembers every birthday and every anniversary including all grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She is a faithful woman who has a servants heart She has always been there for each of her children. She is a wonderful, caring and awesome woman.

I am blessed to have the parents I had even though my childhood was not always the happiest. My past is a part of who I am today as a woman.

Ah first love

This is day 2 of this 30 days of writing specific things. This day is to talk about my first love. To me that is a broad subject. There are the first loves as kids but then teenage years come around and love is so different. Then one marries, has children and love is all around. However many times that love dies and the marriage ends. But one can always meet another person and fall in love but it is different. That is where I am at. I remarried less than 2 years ago with a wonderful man and what I learned about love after my divorce and through counseling I say Dennis is my first love in what I have truly learned what love is to not just give but also receive. That even in those times we are arguing I know I still absolutely love him. Aside from the birth of my three wonderful children which were without a doubt three of best and happiest times of my life, the unhappy times with Dennis are still better than the happiest moments with my first husband.

Now as a child my first love was a stuffed animal named Patches. She had bright multicolored squares all over and I just loved her. When I was a teenager she disappeared. I was crushed by her loss. Years later my older sisters admitted to throwing her away because they felt I was too old to have a stuffed animal. Older sisters can be so mean!! I loved this stuffed animal that as an adult when I got a calico cat I named her Patches.

This is who I am

Day one of the writing challenge is to introduce myself. I could give the basics of I am female (DUH), in my 50's, unemployed but looking for a job. I am married, have 3 children from a previous marriage. They are all grown up now. My husband has a 14 year old daughter. My husband is younger than me so in this day and age it classifies me as a cougar. Whatever, men aren't classified when they marry a younger woman. As for deeper, I believe in God and eternal life through belief in Jesus Christ as Savior. I am not a fan of religion. I am fairly conservative in my politics and views. I think this country is going to hell in a hand basket very quickly. I say vote all new people in the Senate and Congress both state and federal. I voted for McCain, I believe he had the experience and know how for the job. He also has a heart for this nation and the principles it was founded on. Okay enough of my soapbox.

I love to write and have been doing it since I was a teenager, taking a break during my first marriage. I have 3 stories I am working on. I also write poems and other types of writing. Whether anything comes of it I don't know but I enjoy just getting my thoughts down on paper, well on the computer. Thank goodness for computers. I have horrible handwriting that there are times I can't even read what I wrote. (Thanks Dad)

More facts about me is I come from a large family of 11 kids, same parents. We are scattered throughout the United States. I have 37 nieces and nephews and 19 great nieces and great nephews. My mom is still living and my dad recently died. I miss him. I had a grandson, my oldest daughter had Matthew when she was 15 years old. He was a sweetie and when he was 16 months old he got sick and died, doctors had no clue what happened. He would have been 14 now and starting high school. Weird to think that I could have a grandson as old as my step daughter. Ah the modern American family.

I currently live in Idaho Falls after living in San Diego for a little over 18 months, I have moved there from Phoenix where I lived for 16 years. I miss San Diego. It was a wonderful place to live and it was near my children in Phoenix and most of my family in Arizona. Idaho Falls is gorgeous so if I had to leave San Diego I am glad I live somewhere so beautiful. My son who is my youngest lives with me but my daughters are still in Phoenix and I miss them very much.

Great idea

I got an idea from a friend who got it from someone else. It is a 30 day writing challenge. Here is the 30 day list>
Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What’s in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Day 16 – Your first kiss
Day 17 – Your favorite memory
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday
Day 19 – Something you regret
Day 20 – This month
Day 21 – Another moment
Day 22 – Something that upsets you
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry
Day 25 – A first
Day 26 – Your fears
Day 27 – Your favorite place
Day 28 – Something that you miss
Day 29 – Your aspirations
Day 30 – One last moment

Early Morning walks

I was awake very early this morning. I am currently unemployed so I have no reason to be up that early but I was. My husband leaves for work early around 5:30 AM and I usually fall back asleep but alas this morning was not one of those mornings. So I laid in bed just snuggled under the covers for a bit but then decided to get up and start my day. After doing my Bible study and prayers I took my two beagles Heather and Lucy for their morning walk. I have come to love walking in the early morning with the girls. In fact when I get up in the morning they are waiting to go.

It was chilly and the sky was slightly overcast with the sun making an appearance as the clouds moved. A slight breeze filled the air and I was glad I wore a jacket. The streets were just beginning to fill with traffic but not much yet. Every part of our walk is filled with beauty all around. There is a river that runs near my house and we make a loop around with the path along the river being our final leg. The current is swift and the cascade of water as it flows over small downturns. Once I saw a mother duck with her row of ducklings heading towards it. Another time I saw a mama cat and her 3 kittens, I called to them but they just stared at me through the brush.

Of course the dogs make the walk challenging. Lucy wants to stop and sniff everything. She darts side to side and if she can find something to eat she will do it if I do not stop her first. Also if she sees someone or something, she wants to go to them/it but I don't let her so she will continually look back at the desired object till they/it are out of sight. Heather usually likes to just put her face forward and walk in a straight line every so often deviating from her set path. Since we loop around to the river we do come to the street that would take us back to where we live before we get to the river path. Heather will try to get us to turn that way but I pull her along and tell her "good try." She is also funny in that if she does not want to go she will try to dig her claws into the sidewalk but never works. However they do look forward to these morning walks but let's see how excited they will be when there is snow on the ground this winter. This will be a new experience for us all. And if I am employed at that point, this morning ritual will start earlier then usual.

The Frog and the Horsefly

Here is a fable I wrote for a writing class I took a couple of years back. Enjoy Debby

The frog and the horsefly
One day a frog and a horsefly were by a pond. As the frog eyed the horsefly hungrily he thought “this will be a mighty tasty treat.” The horsefly was trying to make his way out but he had injured his wing and could fly.
He thought quickly and said “oh Miss Frog, I can see you wish to eat me but I am a magic horsefly and I will grant you a wish if you do not.”
She looked at him “I do not believe you are magic, it is just a trick. Horseflies are liars.”
He said “but I am magic but can not prove it to you because you are only allowed your one wish and if I prove it to you that will be the wish.”
The frog thought and thought and decided to take a chance. Meanwhile his wing was feeling better and he was able to move it. He kept quiet as to not provoke the frog. “Okay I will not eat you in exchange for one wish. I want an unlimited supply of insects to eat whenever I am hungry.”
His wing still was not able to fully function so he had to stall the frog. “Oh Miss Frog, are there any special kinds of insects you like better than others. There are so many types I want to make sure you get the ones you like.”
“Hmm, I like dragonflies, crickets and grasshoppers the best.” As she was speaking the horsefly began to flutter his wings and found he could move the injured one. He slowly began to take off and as he got higher he began to laugh and taunt the frog.
“You silly frog, you are so easily fooled. Believing I was magic and would give you what you wanted.”
He got cocky and danced above the frog’s head thinking he was out of reach. But in an instant the frog hopped upon a rock nearby and in a flash her long tongue flew out of her mouth and the horsefly was gobbled down. The frog sighed with contentment and hopped over to a nearby lily pad.

Moral: Never fool a female into thinking you will fulfill her desires, she will eat you alive.

This Poem Is Brought to You By the Letter S

Sandcastle at sunset on Morro Strand State Beach, Morro Bay, CA., 07 June 2009

Silly Sarah saw sunrise



Silly Sarah saw seagulls



Silly Sarah saw seashells



Silly Sarah saw sand



Silly Sarah saw sandcastles



Silly Sarah saw sailboats



Silly Sarah saw sunset



Silly Sarah slept