Today is another day and it went back to the way things have been. I just need to keep quiet and not say anything. I just can't get used to the let down. I came to a decision last night and will begin to do what I need to do towards that decision. I am not sure how things are going to play out in my marriage so I will take it one day at a time but with an eye on what I need to do. I know one I need to do is to close myself off to the hurt and pain. To just accepting things are the way they are without heartache. Quit saying anything, just accept, accept, accept!! No one said life is easy and this is one of those hard times and things I need to do. I have so much I can improve about myself so I will take care of that and focus on myself. Not in a selfish way but in a way that will make me healthier physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I want to be healthier so that when things fall apart I am okay on my own. And not here, this is not where I want to live so why would I stay when things go the way I think they will. So this is short because I am tired and need to get myself ready to go to bed. That is one thing I want to do is get more sleep. I have never been good at that one but it is time to start. My health needs to be important. If I know I will be working for the rest of my life then I need to be able to do it.
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