Another day

This day was a little more calm emotionally than it has been. I am just accepting what will happen knowing I have no control over it. I need to find outlets to use when I get like this. This morning I went to the gym and had a great workout. Then this afternoon went to the movies with a friend. And another is to just not think about it and at times ignore the pain and out of control feeling I have. It doesn't do any good to think or focus on it. It just brings me down, I am finding that writing it out is a good thing, a release of some sort. Of course it is usually temporary and easily overturned. Right now I feel good but who knows how tomorrow I will feel. I do wish I could just crawl into bed and pull the covers up but if I do that then my husband makes me feel antisocial or don't want to hang around him and his daughter. Oh yea there was something this morning. I came home from the gym and was taking a shower and he told me what we were going to do the rest of the day. He did not ask or suggest what we could do just told me. I told him how I felt, he said he just wanted to make sure that I did not feel left out blah blah. Are you kidding me!! I have been coming in third for quite awhile. And I agree that if his daughter lives with living where she can go to the same school as her friends will be good for her but to be honest I don't think it will be good for our marriage. That it will be better for her to live with us but I am not sure it will be better for our marriage. I will just take it one day at a time and pray my marriage does not fall apart. I love my husband but I think of what Tina Turner says, "what's love got to do with it" I used to wonder how people who say they love each other split apart but I am beginning to understand it. Who knows maybe things won't be as bad as I think and it will bring my husband and I closer. Right now I am just hanging on and taking it one day at a time.