Things have been really tough with my husband. We have been fighting a lot. There has been so much stress lately. Between his ex wife and my being so homesick it has been tough. I addition his daughter might be coming to live with us. I am acting supporting but am not looking forward to her being here. If she does then we will move across town so she can go to the high school her friends are at. I like the area of town currently live in. It is nicer and we are closer to things to do. I know I am whining but shit I feel like I keep having to give up things and get nothing in return. I still do not like living here and does not feel like home at all. Now I have to move to an area I don't really like. I am depressed but pretend to be happy. And lately I have been wondering if we are gonna last in the long haul. I have tried talking but we end up fighting and I feel like nothing has been accomplished except hurt feelings. I fell like we are unraveling and I really don't have the energy to anything about it. I take it one day at a time and just exist day to day. I have really thought of moving back to Phoenix, finding a job and just picking up and moving back without my husband. I hate that I am even considering it. I love my husband very much but the stress is getting to me, the thought of having a teenager in my house once again sucks, it truly sucks. I will become second to my husband, well gee that is a step up from number three behind his daughter and ex wife. I know he loves me but he wants his daughter in his life and living here with us that he forgets about just us and he will continue till we are totally unraveled. I am hanging on each day, if it wasn't for my job I would have nothing that I enjoy.
When Will It
When will this storm cease to lash at me?
When will peace settle inside and outside?
It rages on with the crash of thunder
Lightning bolts across the sky that is my life
The storm continues and seems to never cease
Just when I think the calm is ahead of me
The storm gains momentum and intensity
Will I survive this storm that just stays with me?
Can I stay steady and strong through the rain?
It is stinging and sharp to my skin and my heart
The thunder is again loud and deafening at times
The lightening is terrifying with intensity
When will this storm end and calm will restored
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