Emotional Eating

Ugh emotional eating today was out of control. I like this place less and less. I mean I love my house but don't like where it is located. I hated coming home yesterday. I went to Phoenix and San Diego for 5 days. Both of those places are home to me. This place is not home, does not even begin to feel like it. So today after work I came home and just ate junk, I mean I am not overfull or anything like that but I kept snacking. I know why, I was ignoring how I was feeling. I just think it is better not to express it but I need to find a healthier outlet. I need to exercise but I feel so trapped inside, like I am pushing to get out but the barrier is just too strong. I want to like living here, I truly do because my husband really likes his job and loves this house. I want to be at peace here but so far not going that way at all. I need to break free from this funk, this depression, let's name it for what it is. I am depressed and I am sinking lower. I pretend all is okay because that is what is expected of me. Even now it is hard to stay focused on this writing and keep a train of thought.

So I will focus on my wonderful vacay. I loved it, the second stepped off the plane in Phoenix I knew I was home, putting on shorts, a tank top and flip flops was wonderful. Then driving to San Diego, stopping to see my mom for a bit, who I miss so very much, was awesome. Then my daughters and I get to San Diego and to our hotel by the ocean and I had to walk down there, the surf, smell of the ocean, the sand, that was home to me also. So we spent the weekend partying, eating, laying in the sun, then more of the same till I had to come back here.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6