On the move

Another move has happened but this one is forward. We bought a house and are out of an apartment. We have been here less then a week and I already feel more at home in this place then I did for the past year we lived in the apartment. Hopefully it will have a settling affect on me. Another factor is spring is coming, the cold is slowly going away and the sun has been out more. But there are still times I feel like my life is out of control, that this roller coaster is falling apart and I can't get out of the car. I am trying to focus on the positive and the present. Need to quit trying to make sense of things that don't right now. The stress at times is high and I get frustrated with letting it get to me. Why do I forget the good things in my life, The blessings big and small. Count my many blessings one by one, just look around and add them up. I know they will be more than the negatives which I know I magnify to more than they are. Be thankful for the beautiful place I live in including this home. Instead I long for where we lived before moving here. I so want to go back there once again but I know our lives are here. But at times I feel so isolated and so alone. Surrounded by people but knowing no one and no one knowing me. Not feeling safe to let others in and be vulnerable to truly open up. I know that comes with time but it is hard after being around that for so many years. I am tired physically and mentally, my emotions are all over the place. I heard someone say that we pray for God to take away whatever we are going through but instead we should pray for wisdom as we go through it. So that is what I am trying to focus on and while mostly I am unsuccessful there are a few times I am not. It is making that one step forward count.